Facebook Solution {Warn the other Friends}

Grandpa Cliff teaches Peter in the shop

My cousin, Ryan, suggested that I post a warning on the former Facebook friend's wall, alerting his/her other friends about her true (or false) identity.  I agree that the other potential victims should be warned.
But the page of the former friend doesn't allow for posts, only for messages.

In order to warn the other friends, I sent each of them a message, warning them about the fraudulent identity of our common friend.  This was a time consuming process, and involved opening up each page of a mutual friend, hitting "send a message to ______" and cut & pasting the message about my discovery.

Here are a few of the replies I received before I had contacted everyone on the false friend's page:

• She has tried communicating with me but virtually everything like that out of africa comes from Nigeria.

• Thank you, Bridget! I have suspected this for some time once the money requests started, but in charity hoped that I was wrong. I did mail her one of my books (expensive to Uganda!), but I just pray that it got into someone's hands who could use it, so no big loss. Thank you for researching this and contacting me!  God bless!

• Thank you so much!!!!! WOW, some people!! 

• Thank you Bridget for letting us know. We appreciate this information. We thought something wasn't right when this person started asking for money as soon as she became a friend. In our hearts, we felt this was not a genuine need. Thank you again.  Blessings.

I got quite a surprise as I attempted to send a message to the next friend on his/her list.  A pop up from Facebook read:

Block!  You are engaging in behavior that may be considered annoying or abusive by other users.  You have been blocked from sending messages because you repeatedly misused this feature. This block will last anywhere from a few hours to a few days. When you are allowed to reuse this feature, please proceed with caution. Further misuse may result in your account being permanently disabled. For further information, please visit our FAQ page. 

Kind of ironic, isn't it?  I've been blocked from sending warnings to the friends of a fraud!
Guess I'll have to find a different hobby.

Facebook Problems 4 {Fact or Fiction?}

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: July 2006

Joseph on fiddle, Peter on mandolin in character on the Cub Scouts' Old Settlers' Parade float, which won first place.

Zachary as color guard for the Old Settlers' Parade in Ferndale, 2006

Waiting for Father Luke's contact in Uganda to report the findings, I remained hopeful that the truth would reveal my Facebook "friend" to be everything she claimed to be.  Likewise, my "friend" remained hopeful that we would be the answer to her prayers for a better life:

Sister, let me hope that your Husband is doing nicely and others? here life is just on try, am ever worried that am going to fail to sit for the national exams and again i will have to repeat when i fail this year and it will be next year again while my friends are going to University.

Sister, i always pray for you and i really do appreciate your plans towards to me. you always in my prayers and your family. thank you for having such a heart. God bless you and family. 

yours young sister _____

Within about a week, our answer from Father Luke's contact arrived:

About the girl in question, She is not there. That is an impostor. I have called the principal of the school and he has taken his time on the same issue. He finally called me up and told me that he does not have that name in the school. I believe the name that was given to us as the teacher is the real person who calls himself or is writing to you as the girl. Incidentally, the teacher is there in that school.

The tuition is _______ and not 181500 as stated. And also at that level students do not sit for national exams so as to attract a fee. National exams here attract a fee of about (minimum) ________.

I think this will be useful information for you. In case of any questions you are welcome, and feel free to ask.   All the best.God bless you.

A kind message followed from Father Luke:

Dear Bridget and Tim,  Good morning.  Thanks again for showing compassion and for being wise and vigilant.   Blessings.

Wow.
I felt violated and naive for having been taken in by a scam artist... by someone who had found me through a Catholic link on my Facebook page and intended to deceive me and steal from me.  I also felt deeply grateful for the whole experience, and offered up prayers for my "friend" asking God's mercy upon him/her.

Of course it occurred to me that Tim's intuition was correct from the beginning.  His scam radar works well.  How humbling.  I love my husband!  I appreciate his patience with me as I took the time and trouble to go through with the investigative process, just to be certain that we were not turning our backs on someone that perhaps God had put into our lives for a reason.  I have often wondered what that reason might be.  Although tempted to just ignore the person (un-friend?) and forget the whole embarrassing situation, I felt called to 'admonish the sinner,' a Spiritual Work of Mercy.

I replied to the person, my former friend:

It has come to my attention that you are not who you claim to be.

Reports from my friend in Uganda (who investigated the school you claimed to attend, and spoke to the principal of the school) revealed that you have a false identity.  Your story did not hold up.  There were many contradictions and it was clear that you have lied to me.

I am sad that the person whom I have befriended, and who called me 'sister' does not exist.  Whomever you are, you are a person, and you were created in God's image and likeness.  Whomever you are, I pray that you will repent and change your ways.  You yourself wrote:

                     "i fear to be punished on sides of God when lying is not accepted." 

I have prayed for God's mercy on your soul, and that you would confess your sins and seek God's forgiveness.  

God's mercy is endless!   God's judgement is just.   

With that, the Facebook "fictitious friend" saga ends.
But problems with Facebook do continue, that's a fact!

Posted in the hour of Divine Mercy...



The Corporal Works of Mercy
                 To feed the hungry
                To give drink to the thirsty
                To clothe the naked
                To visit and ransom the captives
                To shelter the homeless
                To visit the sick
                To bury the dead
            
The Spiritual Works of Mercy
                To admonish sinners
                To instruct the ignorant
                To counsel the doubtful
                To comfort the sorrowful
                To bear wrongs patiently
                To forgive all injuries
                To pray for the living and the dead

Facebook Problems 3 {But Wait! There's More}

Gabriel cares for a headstone in the children's cemetery, removing moss.

Janell helps Joseph refill his spray bottle at the children's cemetery clean-up on All Souls' Day, as Samuel looks on.

I shared the Facebook situation with my dear friend, Janell.  She and her husband met while volunteering with the Missionaries of Charity in India.  She shared a story of a desperate street beggar, crying out for money to be able to bury his dead son, lamenting that he couldn't afford to buy the casket. Janell lovingly (perhaps naively) gave him the money for the cost of the casket.  She remembered how so many people walked right past him, as if he was invisible.     A few blocks away, a few days later, Janell came across the same man pulling the same stunt with another naive foreigner.  Janell ran at him, chastising him for his scam, and he ran away... to another corner, probably.  With poverty comes desperation.

Even after hearing Janell's story, I found myself troubled with frequent thoughts of a suffering person who had asked me directly for help.  Her request for help paying for school fees kept ringing in my ears.  I continued to pray for her.

Amazingly, a visiting priest (via California) from Uganda entered our lives right in the midst of my unrest about not being able to help this person in need.  On a hike with Father Luke, I shared the story of my Facebook friend from Uganda, and expressed sadness at not being able to help her.
Zachary pitched in, "St. John Vianney said 'If you can't help someone yourself, then pray that someone else will help them."  Wise counsel.

Fr. Luke offered to help us determine if her request for financial aid for school was legit.  He had in fact, taken a few students (family members) from Uganda into his financial care to help provide for their education.  He had close contacts in Uganda who were willing to research and investigate the claims made by my "friend" to help discover the truth of the matter.

In the meantime, her pleas for help kept hitting my FB message folder:

Bridget, great to hear from you and all your words were so great to read, i have understood your point my dear friend, i don't take you as a bad person but always good to me, well thats how everyone thinks when someone is coming out requesting for help, but with me am not such kind of who just gets to lie, with lying i can't gain and am a God believer, i fear to be punished on sides of God when lying is not accepted. 

let me guess that you fine and doing all good, am very sorry my dear friend if it annoyed you but as you know when someone needs to be education much is ever up and down looking for the possibilities to be in school ever. life is just going on somehow, hope one day God will accept out my prayers. let me wish you the best my dear friend, God bless you and your family.

i always pray for it, but Bridget what should i do to be helped out with my studies, i see like my future is getting to be blocked, my mother can't afford now anything, she is completely down.. please help me my friend, connect me to someone who can at least help me... complete my studies or go through this high school, then after i can find a course to do.. if of University fee not available.

please am sorry to budge you, my friend i need help, so that i can survive in future, and also to help others. send regards to your one heaven sent husband.  God bless you all.

Having been budged, I was so relieved to know that soon Father Luke's contact in Uganda would have a concrete answer about whether or not this appeal for help was fact or fiction.   At his request, I asked my friend for the name and address of her school and for a copy of her most recent report card.  These items were sent to me, and I forwarded them together with every single bit of correspondence I had received from her.  Father Luke sent them on to his contact in Uganda.

And then, I waited...

Facebook Problems 2 {Continued...}

Tim leads the Webelos in a Craftsman Badge pocket knife building project.

Yes, Amy, my new "friend" on Facebook asked for money!  Yes, Kristy, there were serious pulls at my heartstrings!
Rebecca, I concur with your wisdom about only accepting "friend" requests from someone you know. 
OK Simone, I'll get blogging and continue the saga...

As you know, I told my new "friend" that yes, she could ask me a question. Her reply:

well how are you doing my beloved one friend, i really feel so good reading from you Bridget, you so a great friend heaven sent. how is your true one husband God sent to you? send him regards and other family members.  here life is a bit on try, par now am not attending school because of some school dues. Please Bridget, here i come up by requesting you to find me someone with a helping heart to sponsor me in my education for my dreams to come true.. we are 3Children, staying with my mother, my daddy passed away some years back. we are 2girls and 1 brother, my sister is 14yrs and the my brother is 10yrs. 

i wish you the best and stay in touch. you always in my prayers. thanks for writing, _____

I wrote back, asking her to explain what exactly she was requesting (in a sponsor) and if her school had a sponsorship program.  I also asked for a few more details. She replied:

Bridget hi, how are you doing and how is life taking you over there, how is everyone, how is your heaven sent husband? you all in my prayers.

am so happy reading from you, and really thank so much for your heart of help to consider out my request of getting a sponsor, here life is just on try, as you know am missing school a lot... but everyone home is fine, at school they don't have that program of sponsorship, i think it would be better for me to have a private wth a heart of help to pay my school fees up to university to complete my studies, my Job in mind is becoming an accountant or studying law, this is my final class to university but then right now am missing school yet we have to sit for the National examination, i would like to register but registration fees my mother can't really afford it, thats why my friend Bridget please help me out with this so that at least i sit for this final year of high school.

with fees par term we pay 181,500/= Ugandan shs, with Registration fee for the National examination is 15,000/= Ugandan shs we pay it once for only National examination.

thanks so much for my dearest friend Bridget may God still keep you with that great heart of help. yours always in my prayers

I used an online conversion program to determine how much money was being requested in US dollars, and the total was around $200.  I showed Tim the series of messages and his scam radar went off immediately.  This is where the beauty of marriage becomes so evident:  While I was emotionally moved by this person's cry for help (as a mother would be), he was moved into protector mode (as a father should be).  Tim put it straight:  We would absolutely not be sending money to a stranger, even if she was my "friend" on Facebook.

Tim's decision made perfect sense. So I sent her this message:

We are not going to be able to send you the money, but we will pray for you and hope that you can find a sponsor for your education.  I do hope you will still want to be friends, even if we cannot pay for your school and examination fees. I know this will be disappointing news, but I want to be very honest with you and not give you the wrong idea. With friends, it is always better to be completely honest, even if it's hard news.

I did keep her in prayer, and her reply caught me off guard:

thank you for refusing to find me a sponsor to my education.   bye

I guess I should have simply let the whole thing go.  But somehow this strange Facebook situation (and the thought of a desperate child in Africa) kept nagging at my conscience...

Facebook Problems 1 {Where to begin?}

Joseph

Hope & Hannah

Zac

Enoch & Jonah

I accidentally joined Facebook 2 years ago.

A friend had posted a photo album on her FB page and invited me to view it, which meant I had to create a FB identity.  In the process, I somehow managed to send "friend invites" to everyone in my Gmail contacts.  This list included our parish priest,  whom I would not normally ask to be my "friend."  How embarrassing!

About 6 months ago, I received an intriguing FB friend request from a young lady in Uganda.
A few days after we became "friends" we started corresponding in the message area (off page).
I enjoyed the idea of sharing our faith (she had found me through a Catholic site) and of learning about her life in Uganda and sharing ours.  When I inquired about the different names she had used in her messages (which Tim thought was very curious) she replied:

Hi my good one friend, how are you doing today? how is your family? send my hearty regards to all at home... My real names am called ____, i take ____ as my first name, because it is the clan name... thanks so much for the prayers, i also do the same to pray for you and your family... i thank God much for making us be friends.. and i wish forever to be friends. God bless you and your family.. bye.. your friend ____ from Uganda East Africa.

Within 5 days of our "friendship" I received this message:

Hi Bridget, how are you doing and how is life treating you via there? well am glad to read from you today, i really feel so good whenever i read from you such a great person in my heart you? how was the day of Fathers? in fact i didn't know that we have even that day in the world, i was just knowing Mother's Day. hope you really enjoyed it well? 

How is your heaven sent husband? really send my regards to him, with Sandra is my youngest sister, so sometimes i use her name and most here call me Sandra. 

my dear i would like to request you one thing if you don't mind? i will make it when you get to allow me ask.

good time and God bless you with your family, you ever in my Prayers and mind.  ____

I replied that of course, she could ask me anything.
What do you think she asked??